Screw you self-doubt. Self-arrogance is better.

Self-doubt. Who hasn’t experience that at least once or many times in their lives?***

Self-doubt is a killer. And not a good one! It is a killer of self-confidence and self-esteem. So imagine how achievement get punch in the face here!

Self-doubt has been quite too much of a friend for me. For years and still nowadays, it strikes me like a lightening. It’s quite ironic because to my close friend’s eyes, i am so much more an accomplisher that a self-doubter. What is awesome about growing up and getting older, as much the two digits 3 and 0 scared me so much at first, is that now you kind of know that it is your mind tricking you.

But this is it. Self-doubt is nothing else that you mind tricking you with your own expectations, you own values and the comparison you run though your head with all the other people around you when you are not meeting your own self-satisfaction.

This is when your mind get really comfy in its original mindset. The one that settled a long time ago, in you early childhood when your where in a task of self-discovery while being externally influenced by your surrounding folks and environment.

**When self-doubt hit you for real**

But now, you are a grown young adult and you are on a find-my-path mission. This is when self-doubt arises. When you are cruising through life trying different things, navigating in different worlds, discovering new hobbies, passions, meeting new people, considering different horizons for your future.

All this is great. But today’s world is confusing and tend to generate a lot more pressure that immediate pleasure. Because today’s world is an endless opportunity world. You can do pretty much whatever you want, travel in whatever country you want, start any business you want, do the studies you want, be who ever you want to be.

All these opportunities are absolutely amazing. Back in our parents time, they didn’t have this latitude of choices.

But now, we do have all these possibilities. And so many possibilities can easily lead to doubt. Is it the right thing to do? Is it the right thing for me? Do i have the capacity to do it? That’s the one that usually gets me. Am i good enough to do this or am i good enough for this person? And if i fail or he/she does not like me, what people will think of me?

These are usually the thoughts that lead you to self-doubt. So you might be wondering where i am going with my self-arrogance. I read that book on emotional intelligence and in a chapter about self-awareness, the author mentioned that every person have to find their own arrogance in fact to increase their self-awareness.

In this case, finding our own arrogance is finding what we are stubborn or cocky about us to have a better understanding of what is going on inside of us.

People watching is one of my favourite thing to do. Part of my people watching is also to observe how people handle life situations but specifically how they carry them selves. I am always amaze to watch people that know their worth, that know deep down that they are good enough and that they deserve everything they want and they have.

This is the kind of arrogance i am talking about. Tricking your brain with the arrogance that you deserve what ever you want to have or to be, that you are good enough for whatever you desire to obtain or accomplish.

**Finding your self-arrogance, getting your power back.**

Finding you own self-arrogance also mean getting your power back. Allowing yourself to exit this victim mindset and find this strength back. The one that make you feel worthy, strong and courageous about yourself. The one you used so many time to get through hard moments that life have thrown at you. This is what i mean by self-arrogance.

Finding your self-arrogance in your thoughts. Whenever self-doubt is arising in a situation, when you find yourself thinking that you don’t deserve whatever you are fancying at this precise moment, find your arrogance and change the tone of your thought.

But to clarify here, when i say arrogance, i am talking about the positive one, about the self-worth and the self-confidence. Not the cockiness and the up your self attitude.

**Shift your mindset**

In the world of psychology, this refer to a specific concept called mindset. This term is the new self help trend and it is for a reason, it works. In her book “Mindset: The new psychology of success”, Carol S.Dweck explain what makes people differ just like i mentioned previously is which of the two mindset you decide to carry on with.

Dr. Dweck explain that people with fixed mindset will hold on to the belief that “they are the way they are” even though they have the desire to have a more positive self-image. They will usually avoid challenges, give up easily, see effort as fruitless, see criticism as negative and feel threatened by other people’s success.

On the other hand, people with the growth mindset will embrace challenges, be persistent when encountering obstacles, see effort as a mastery of new skills, learn from criticism and find lessons and inspiration in other people’s success.

And that what i mean when i say shifting from self-doubt to self-arrogance.

Find you own worth.

It is about having the right level of positive arrogance for our selves, to cheer us up and to rewire our brain with positive beliefs.

Because the brain is so much more malleable that we think, a simple change of the tone in your thoughts can rewire an good old well settled belief.

A subtle change to the tone of your thought to a situation can make a huge difference.

Try that. Go to somewhere you like to sit and look at the view. Maybe it is a bench in front of the ocean, on top of a mountain, on a lake or somewhere in the city, if you are a city person, where you can contemplate the beauty of it. This place have to be a place that brings up emotions, a place you go when wether you are sad or happy or maybe nostalgic. A place where every time you sit, and stair at it, it brings that feeling in your stomach. Pick two songs that you really like. One is more mellow, melancholic. The other is happy, motivating. Look at the same scenery with the two different songs playing and feel.

This is what i mean when i say change the tone of your thoughts.

Easily said then done.

But this is a good exercise to gradually change the tone of your thoughts and shift your mindset to find your self-arrogance.